Banning Minarets

The Swiss vote yesterday to ban minarets, which will be written into their constitution, is a good start, a fine one, but it doesn’t go far enough.  If there is any hope to be garnered from a ban, food must be included.  Food is what we experience viscerally each day.  Certainly is it a chief way we define ourselves: our religious, national, and family identities.  For example: Kosher, Halal practices.  Fish on Friday.  The surrender of meat during Lent.  Or: French cooking, Italian pasta, Chinese spices, Indian spices, and raw Japanese fish.  Or: Grandma’s meatloaf.  A favorite aunt’s gravy.  A cookie from childhood.

So, that being the case, here are some foods that we could ban to create social change:

Brownies: Not all brownies, just the ones with walnuts.  These make a lot of disruptive noise during important meetings.  They are also associated with inherent violence in the heterosexual community.

Concord grapes.  Far too old-fashioned and flavorless.  Linked to the John Birch Society through John Welch.

Handballs.  Not technically a food item, but included out of r-e-s-p-e-c-t for dogs who often mistake them food and can choke on them and asphyxiate.

Egg Salad.  Note, not eggs, but just the unctuous, goopy stuff.  Linked to Aryan rights movements.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.