The Upcoming War with Iran

I don’t know what I’m going to wear to the war, but I’m thinking this aging hipster look I’ve got going might work: Stove pipe black jeans, tight black T, dark cashmere sweater, Persol shades.  Hard to say, but I have a funny feeling that I’ll be part of the in crowd in this apparel.

The weird thing is the confusion, I find, about the causes of the war.  Nuclear weapons?  Um, hello?  I don’t think so.  Say Iran gears up and gets bombs, right?  It’s one strike and you’re out.

Oil?  Get real.  We don’t need their oil.  China needs their oil, which is why the Chinese are against sanctions.

No, this war is about caviar.

Did you know–and I bet you didn’t–that Iran is one of the world’s top producers of caviar?  Bandar-e Anzali is the capital of caviar.  North Iran, on the Caspian.  Say what you like about the farmed eggs, this wild version is yum, yum, yum!  Ask any supermodel or rock star!  They’ll tell you!

See, you can get oil from  any number of despotic states: Venezuela, Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, etc.

You can shoot down missiles once they’re launched.

But can you get killer Beluga any place that’s better than Iran?  Of course not.

Make this woman happy!

 

 


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