I’m not saying I was called to Benghazi yesterday to try to straighten things out, but let’s just say I had a good reason for not being able to report here. Maybe I was there. OK? Maybe I wasn’t.
Meanwhile: The big news closer to home?
NYC agrees to ban–that’s right, ban–sugary drinks over 16 ounces. I happen to agree with the ban. I think most things should be banned: Sugared chewing gum, tobacco in all forms, flip-flops if worn by people with toes that look like corn cobs, and the robots that look a lot like human beings who walk the streets. See? The robots fooled you. And that’s why they need to be banned.
Ban winter! Ban supermarket coupons! Ban bluejays! They rob sparrows’ nests! Ban handguns! Ban Doritos!
It’s time we stood up.
The ban on the sugary drinks goes into effect in six months…